Miserable?

Miserable: |ˈmiz(ə)rəbəl|adjective1 (of a person) wretchedly unhappy or uncomfortable : their happiness made Anne feel even more miserable.• (of a situation or environment) causing someone to feel wretchedly unhappy or uncomfortable : horribly wet and miserable conditions.• (of a person) habitually morose : a miserable man in his late sixties.
A few weeks ago Cleveland was voted "Most Miserable City" by Forbes Magazine. At first it kind of blew over me, because hey, I'm used to that kind of stuff from the national media. But for some reason people here are taking this VERY personal. And you know what? We should be!!!! I think Clevelanders are finally sick and tired of the negative press surrounding our city. And these are mostly from people who have NEVER been to our city. What right do you have? How would you like it if I never went to your home, and then one day decided, "Your home is the most miserable place on the planet." Here's the funny thing: few people in Greater Cleveland would describe themselves using the definition given above for miserable. Straight up, life here is not any more miserable than anywhere else. Sure, unemployment is slightly above the national average, foreclosure rates are high, and it is a cold, long winter. Yes, our politicians are corrupt (just like Chicago, Detroit, NY, Philly, etc.) Yes, there are sections of our city that are broken, vacant, blighted, and flat out dangerous. What major city doesn't have these problems? Crime? Underachieving youth? These are problems shared by all cities, not just here on the shores of Lake Erie. What people who live here don't see are all the positive aspects of living in Cleveland. Or maybe they want to point others away from the negative aspects of their cities?Anyway, I'm trying to be real about this. I know Cleveland has issues. But I also know this is a GREAT place to live, have a family, etc. We all have a choice: we can sit on our hands, get angry when people say that we have a "miserable city", and go on doing the same things we've always done.Or, we could get mad about it, and then do something about it. I have chosen the latter, and I hope others will, too. God is up to something here in Cleveland. Could it be that God loves to work through the underdog? I'll let you decide.

Reflections

Wow. I thought I would take advantage of this in-between time to reflect on what was and on what will be. Aside from a physically grueling move, the last week has been equally emotionally draining. One of the effects of the Fall is clear to me when I think about the time it takes to build meaningful relationships with people, and how that can be partially torn away in a short time. I feel that at two and a half years, we were starting to really connect with the people around us in Centralia. And just at that time we are called away. I guess it would be harder if we didn't have cel phones, internet, facebook, Skype, etc. In a real way, I will always be in contact with many of the people we were closest to, and that is a comfort. But still, even in this overly technological age, there is something deeper about living life together in community. When you aren't physically present, you really aren't fully present. There's many things to think about "missing" when you move, but mostly for me it is people. Will I miss Centralia, IL? No. Will I miss our house, or the truck we sold, or my office, or any of those things? No. Will I even necessarily miss my ministry position? Not really, I'll be doing what I have always loved/dreamed of right here in Cleveland. But the people...ah, there is a different story. And so in this transition time, I will take time to grieve the people we will miss living life together with. In all of this, I know that I learned much in 2 1/2 years at Calumet, and hopefully God saw fit to use us, his servants, as vehicles for His love.

The crazy thing about a transition, though, is that you just don't leave something...we were running hard toward something else. This dream...church planting in Cleveland...has been fully present with me for many years. It has at times felt like what Jeremiah describes as a "fire within my bones." It only grows as time goes on. Even yesterday driving through downtown on our way to Jessica's parent's house, the dream grows a little more...it glows a little brighter...it calls a little louder. The crazy thing is that new relationships will be built. New friendships formed. New opportunities to love this city will be available in huge quantities.

Nothing can ever take the place of the relationships from Centralia. Just like nothing could take the place of relationships we still cherish from Canton. Just like nothing could take the place of relationships built at KCC, at home, in high school, etc. The journey moves on.

What comforts me is the promise we have for the Kingdom to come. Friendships renewed, reunited. Not for a temporary period...for forever. No more moving. No more uprooting. Just perfect harmony, the way God intended. Now that is hope for the dying.

Oh Lord, may we be Your hands and feet to bring hope to the dying in Cleveland.

A New Chapter

Each of us is living our own story. There are definite chapters to these stories, some of them longer than others, but each one playing a specific, important part of the overall narrative. For Jessica and I, the page is turning. A chapter is closing, and a new chapter is dawning. Most of you who read this already know that Jessica and I have heard God calling us to join Him in Cleveland, Ohio. We will become part of a team in South Euclid that is planting a new church, Velocity Christian Church (http://www.velocitycleveland.com/).

We will be doing exactly what I set out to do with this blog (only I have failed to really update the thing!), and that is bring hope to the dying. If you are one of our friends who grew up in Greater Cleveland, you know that a cloud of hopelessness and despair hangs over the area. Sure, some of this is economic, sports-induced, or possibly even weather related. But we believe the real reason is spiritual. Cleveland is on spiritual life-support and has been for decades.

God is, however, up to something in the City of Rock and Roll. The Spirit is moving, and God is answering the decades-old prayers of many faithful believers throughout Northeast Ohio. Many believers who grew up in the area and left are returning. God is raising up new men and women from other parts of the country to take a missionary journey to Cleveland.

Hope is coming. In many ways, hope is already there. What was once a small spark will soon become a flame. It's only a matter of time. If you're not familiar with some of the things already going on in the city, check out http://www.momentumchurch.com/, http://www.gatewaycleveland.com/.

We are really excited about this new opportunity that God has provided for us! At the same time, we are sad to leave people we have grown to know and love here in Centralia. We are convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that God called us to Centralia in May of 2006. Whatever his exact purposes were for us coming to Centralia, I pray that we accomplished them and that God accomplished what He needed to in us. I know that I have made mistakes here and there is much to learn.

We still have a month and a half until we move. I pray that the conclusion to this chapter we are in right now is the strongest part of the chapter. God, let us finish strong here in Centralia, there is work yet to be done.

"Greater things are yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city."

May this be true for every city.

From the Inside Out

Last time I told you that I was going to blog about a few of the new songs we did at camp. This week the song is "From the Inside Out" by Hillsong.

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else,
my purpose remains
The art of losing myself
in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

I was familiar with this song before camp, but i did not know it deeply, nor had I ever led it. These words are amazing, and have become the cry of my own heart in my life and my ministry. Sometimes we get it backwards: we try to change or grow from the outside in. "if I can only so this ministry...If I can only go here with this group...If I can only serve more..." and so we go. True life change and growth, however, comes from the inside out. Jesus tells us that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. This can also be seen anytime Jesus talks about His followers bearing fruit. But it begins with the inside; in other words, what our hearts are drawn to.
My favorite line of this song is "Your will above all else, my purpose remains, the art of losing myself in bringing you praise". Inner-growth begins with self-sacrifice. We don't begin to put Christ on until we have let ourselves go. Too many times I try to take on the character of Christ and yet keep a little bit o' Chris in there as well...but the great irony of it all is that "Chris" really isn't "Chris" unless I have lost myself for the sake of finding Christ.
Sometimes the greatest things about Christianity are mysteries, aren't they? I love it though. Pray with me that we can be "consumed from the inside out" as we learn "the art of losing oruselves to being Christ the praise". What a prayer. And what a goal.

Click here to see the song.

It's been a long while

Greetings Peeps! I regret taking so long a leave from blogging. Various things have happened (most nobaly, the crashing of my Mac's hard drive...grrr...). Then we went to camp for a week where we had a glorious time.
In fact, that's the subject of this blog. Well, not camp specifically, but a part of camp. One of my favorite parts of co-leading worship at camps is the exposure I get to newer or unfamiliar worship songs. I consider it a great sharpening opportunity in every way {thanks Dave :-)}
Anyway, I learned several songs I was unfamiliar with before camp. Because of the impact these songs have had on me, I am going to dedicate a few entries to reflecting on the words of these songs...

#1: Beautiful the Blood by Steve Fee

I never knew death could be so sweet,
I never knew surrender could feel so free
I never seen such meekness in majesty,
That the blood of Jesus was bled for me

And now I sing freedom for all my days
It's only by the power of the cross I'm raised
The King of Glory rescued me

How beautiful the blood flow,
How merciful the love shown
The King of glory poured out
Victorious are we now

Never knew through these nails would love unfold
And never knew these wounds would heal my soul
I've never seen such beauty and sorrow meet
The blood of Jesus was bled for me

How beautiful you are, How merciful you are
How glorious you are, Christ our Savior


Needless to say, I fell in love with this simple but beautiful song as soon as I heard it. In fact, I loved it so much that Jessica and I sang this while people were taking communion during a recent Sunday morning service at our church. That gave it a whole new dimension for me.
This is a song that I consider both vertical and horizontal. The verses and pre-chorus are horizontal - that is, they are sung as a telling to others what Jesus has done for us. The chorus and ending are vertical - they are sung directly to God as an offering of praise for what He has done. It's one of the great paradoxes of the Christian faith - "how beautiful the blood". Blood is not beautiful, nor is dying, especially the way that Christ died. But His love in that act and in all of the acts of His life are beautiful. Not only that, but the salvation we attain by His blood is beautiful. More beautiful than a sunset, a mountain, a lake, a flower, or a work of art. Blood. Beautiful.

I encourage you to check out this song sometime.

God is Humerous

Alright, God, You're real funny. Not long after I post on this site for the world to see that I am going to be positive about Cleveland sports, the Indians lose 14 of their last 16 games and trade away arguably the best pitcher they've ever had. Now, I'm not saying the trade won't pan out at some point...I'm just saying...I guess this would fall under the category of "Be careful what you pray for because you will get it". It's only right that after I decide to try and be positive that many "negative" things would present themselves as a test...oh, the humanity!

But in all seriousness, is it really the end of the world that the Indians are basically the worst team in baseball again? No, I don't think so. I still love them, and nothing in my life changes based upon their record (I hope you know that this is therapeutic for me). There are bigger things in life to worry about, like What's for Dinner?

Check out this post from a fellow Indians fan and blogger. It helped make light of the situation. Go Indians!

When We Say I Do...

     In the fall of 2005,  I went on a 4-day staff retreat with the church I was interning at, First Christian Church in Canton, OH.  On the first day, we were shown a large pile of random objects in the center of the room, and each of us was instructed to pray and choose one based on God's leading.  Before we were even told these instructions, I had noticed a fake-flower bouquet.  I didn't know why at the time, but I chose the flower bouquet...

    On May 21, 2005, a few short months before this retreat, I committed myself to the covenant of marriage with Jessica.  My life would never be the same...

     As the retreat progressed, I started to understand why God led me to pick the bouquet.  God was trying to tell me that I was His bride.  It was a slight reversal of what I had experienced a short time before.  God knew my deep struggle with feeling loved unconditionally at that time.  I didn't see it at first...Me, a bride?  It's kind of a weird thought...

     But it's kinda how we are described in the New Testament.  We are the bride of Christ...Jesus is described as the bridegroom going to prepare a place for us.  This is all marriage language.  Is it any wonder?  Marriage...the oldest human covenant.  Why does God use marriage language in the Bible?...

     That week at the retreat, I looked up nearly every passage in the Bible that had wedding language.  I noticed some patterns.  I expected the language to focus on us as humans doing our part to keep the marriage covenant.  Instead, most of the passages focused on Christ's love for us and the covenant that He perfectly keeps with us.  It doesn't really ever have to do with what we do (except in Ephesians, for instance, when Christ's love for his wife, the Church, is the example for us earthly husbands).  I started to see things like...Jesus promising to give us white, pure garments; Jesus laying down His life for His wife; Jesus preparing a place for us to be together some day.  

    I think we're engaged right now.  As I went through that retreat, I started to experience God's love in a way that was brand new to me.  I am His wife.  So are you, if you are called His, if you wear His "engagement ring" (Holy Spirit)...

     What made this analogy come alive for me was my own wife.  I often recounted to Jessica (as well in my vows on our wedding day) that in was in her where I first saw true grace and love.  No matter how many times I screw up, she is there.  I would never dream of questioning her faithfulness to me...

     So that last day of the retreat, Jesus was saying to me, "You know the way that Jessica loves you as her husband?  I love you even more as my wife...my bride...my beloved..."  There's a word in Hebrew that sounds kinda funny: segula.  It means, "prized and treasured possession".  This is how Israel is described to God.  Israel is the precursor for the church...we are His treasured possession.

     The primary way that God is viewed is Father...which is certainly true.  There are many pictures that we all inherently understand about God being our Abba.  But I resonate with seeing Jesus as my bridegroom...or rather, seeing myself as Jesus' wife.  

     Just as Jessica's love for me continues to deepen and blow me away, Christ's love should do the same.

     Perhaps that is the picture of grace that we need...